Bassie Crennan

Bassie Crennan
Genres	Campsandra, Indie, Rock, Heavy Metal, Gospel, Choir, Pop, Bubblegum Pop, Dance, Christmas, Parody, Funny
Years active	1998-2012
Labels	Bifta

Cassandra Brennan, better known as 'Bassie Crennan', or sometimes 'BC', 'Broadcast' or 'Big Boobs Brennan' is a DJ and bassist from an unknown location. She is well known for her 'Camp, but metal' style, and often performs at many hardcore clubs, and some quirky bars and cafes. She is best known as the leading member of the group 'Bassie Crennan and The Nip Slips'. She had an extremely promising career for someone of such a young age, but she suffered a strong blow to the head, developed amnesia, and forgot everything about her career. She is also a long-time Cassiist.

Biography and History[edit source | edit]

Brennan started out in the womb, where she composed and mixed heavy metal tracks for the 'Campsandra' loving 'Cassists'. She eventually released her album when she was born in 1998, but she then didn't produce anything else musically until 2010, as she wanted to concentrate on her childhood and primary education.

Cassie often visited, and still does, her local city centre, where she would get drunk at the docks and courtyards. She made friends with many random people, who inspired her to return to music. She then learned to play the Bass Guitar, and was inspired by people such as Katy Perry.

'The Adelphi - EP' 1998[edit source | edit]

Crennan began to perfect her first EP whilst unborn, a collaboration with pl.A.cen.T.A She knew of her mother's regular visiting places, and would later have many experiences there. Her 4 track EP gained both praise and criticism, for its camp, yet hardcore style. Her newfound fans send her mother lots of gifts for Bassie to use in later life, hoping that she would return to music. However, many people thought that her music wasn't fit for airplay, and often gave critical remarks. This, however, did not stop Bassie.

'Scared Of Science Teachers [Album]' 2010[edit source | edit]

After being scared of one of her teachers, Cassandra decided it was time to write an album. The album consisted of much more hardcore sounds, mostly heavy metal and 70s rock, with the occasional alternative pop track. This led to much more praise, and less criticism from reviewers, who had, since 1998, adapted their tastes. 'Hiding The Smoke Smell', Crennan's debut single with her record company, Bifta, was soon released. It peaked at #62 on the UK charts, Crennan's highest rank to date. However, it was soon overtaken by her second and final single from the album, 'I Have Bright Pink Chav Hair', which got to #19. The song received a lot of praise from critics, and stayed in the charts for approximately 4 weeks.

Bassie Crennan + The Nip Slips[edit source | edit]

Two years after 'Scared Of Science Teachers', Bassie decided that working with a group/band would benefit her success, not just in the charts, but in the most hardcore clubs in her hometown, and also cities like London. She eventually wanted to go global. She then met L.P.D, aka the 'Lanky Pussy Destroyer', and F3cktard, and they then became 'Bassie Crennan + The Nip Slips', the 'Nip Slips' coming from an embarrassing video that L.P.D had taken of a drunken Crennan in the Adelphi Hotel.

'Sian Lost Her Phone [Album]' and 'The Boob Tour' 2012[edit source | edit]

Bassie Crennan + The Nip Slips began to record their first album together, and after a few weeks, they were ready to release, after drinking a strangely coloured liquid to boost inspiration levels. They performed at hundreds of clubs and gained massive popularity in the hardcore genre, and they decided to release their singles. 'Down The Stairs' was the first single to be released, and it immediately got to #7 in the charts, and peaked at #3. It was Brennan's biggest hit to date, and the critics loved it. The group then released 'Big Tit Hotel', a more camp approach to the story referenced to in 'Down The Stairs'. The song wasn't as well received, but still managed to peak at #23. Bassie Crennan + The Nip slips then embarked on their first UK tour, 'The Boob Tour'. Although there were no sellouts, the group gained popularity and critics began to accept the quirkiness of the group's music.

50 Shades Of Cassie Project[edit source | edit]

Crennan decided to do some practice before persuing a career in acting. She created a portfolio of 50 'moods' of herself, which gained a lot of popularity over the internet. She was offered many jobs for modeling and stand up comedy, but turned them all down to concentrate on larger goals.

'Dory [EP]' and 'Musical Cassie [EP]' 2012[edit source | edit]

Crennan released the 'Dory' EP with the Nip Slips, and then released a new solo EP, knowing that she wanted to concentrate on acting from then on. Critics enjoyed the subtle tones of 'Musical Cassie', and the utter horrendousness of 'Dory', mostly created with humourous parody tracks to skit other celebrities. Brennan then knew it was time for a break from music.

Almost Death[edit source | edit]

Whilst in the city centre of her home town, Cassie fell from the top of a raised courtyard near to a few buffets. She suffered a severe injury and almost died. However, she was rushed to hospital in time for her to be saved. This experience then opened her eyes to how little her time may be, and that she wanted to pursue a career in acting and quickly return to music.

'N.S. Adelphi [Film]' 2012[edit source | edit]

Bassie began working on her feature-length comedy film, based on her accident at the hotel involving the slip of a 'nip'. She released the film, starring as the main character, with L.P.D and F3cktard starring too. The film received moderate reviews, and Brennan knew that she was on the way to becoming a great actress.

Loose Cassie[edit source | edit]

Brennan hosted a TV talk show, much like Loose Woman, but with a more satire comedy edge with more 'adult' content. She read out the Lord's Prayer at the beginning of every show, as a skit to when she was forced to do so every day in school, despite being an atheist, and not believing in God whatsoever. She talked to many guests, and created much talk of political humour, until the show was ordered to be canceled, and Bassie banned from UK TV, by the Prime Minister, because he was being 'offended' too often.

Second Accident, Amnesia and End Of Career[edit source | edit]

After her show was canceled, Crennan suffered from depression. She decided to commit suicide, but after an attempted overdose on Paracetamol tablets, she was found and rushed to hospital and saved. She began looking for inspiration for music, after her TV career hopes had been dashed, and the fact that she was now to embarrassed to return to filmography. She failed to find much inspiration, and whilst out in her hometown's city centre, she became heavily drunk from Vodka and fell from the balcony of a club. She suffered a severe blow to the head, and amnesia of her entire career in Music, TV and Film. She recovered perfectly well, despite never remembering any of her career. The shock of finding out that she had been a celebrity, disliked by the government, was too much, and she decided to return to her regular schoolgirl life. It is completely unknown what became of her fellow bandmates and musicians, although internet rumours suggest they did not exist, and everyone in the world was just high due to illegal substances in the water supply.